A challenge for the week
Actually trying out something you already know about & may discard usually
When we get stuck with things we tend to focus in on the problems of it or the uncomfortableness of it. Without getting technical, it is our threat system focussing in, to keep us alive. Whilst it is not the threat our ancestors experienced, such as a bear at the cave door (if we were lucky enough to have a cave!)our brain is still treating it, as if it were. You probably know this. Ok, so you know this.
Q? What is the advantage of continuing to do this? and/or what do you gain from it? take a moment to jot down what comes to your mind, if you mind wanders off to what to make for dinner, fine, that is what minds do, just come back to what you are writing. If you feel the urge to give up, fine, normal……try to stick with it, one more thing to write down and then read on. Now it’s written, what do you think of what you have written? Do you wanna change it, stay with it, consider it?
Shit, look at those teeth! Yep, I would definitely been a human snack for this guy. So, now you are smiling maybe? at my terrible poor attempt at humour. The reason for using humour is it takes you out of threat and to a calmer place in your brain, where you might feel more like this:
Photo by Ole Kloth on Unsplash
Look at that mindful bear. He is chilling dude. His mind is taking in all around him and he thinking rationally, as much as a bear can.
OMG, yes I mentioned the mindful word. I have noticed my clients often switch off when I say that word. It has become a swear word nearly.
If you embrace mindfulness, fantastic. If not, please don’t flick off this article, 2 more minutes!
Where was I, oh yeah, threat to calmer. Let’s not use jargon and keep it simple.
If you are calmer you are more able to focus on solutions and ideas rather than, omfg, I am stuck, I don’t know what to do, I am in the total shit at the moment, life sucks. It maybe true, but focussing in on that,does what?
So,one way to train our brains to think outside the box, more broadly and to harness our innate wise mind is to start really looking at things around us. Properly noticing. Not, oh look at that thing, whatever it is, I hate it, more like:
Hmmm I don’t like that thing
What is it about it I don’t like
OMG that gives me an idea about x
or the opposite of this, what do I like.
My philosophy as a coach is to teach you to be your own coach, to get the absolute best out of yourself, as much of the time as possible (we are not aiming for a non human perfect robot here). I am not about, secrets that only I hold. I wanna share them with you so you can use them.
So, the art of coaching ourselves is the questions we ask of ourselves and others. It changes our whole perspective.
warning: sales pitch (put in a paragraph you can ignore and more on if you prefer, no pressure - You may need help to develop this skill, I have to eat too, my website, a work in progress - I do try to practice what I preach by not being perfectionist, it works right, just about, but you can email me if you would like to have a free call to discuss coaching with me : mail@janewatkinscoacing.co.uk).
The challenge, yep got there:
Really start to look at the world and ask yourself a different question. For example: next time you go to compare yourself to someone else. Catch the “look at them, they are brilliant and I am shit” thought.
What different question can you ask today? about people, objects or places (even your bathroom) instead, to widen your perspective.
Stop and do this for at least three things today and for the next week, people, objects or places. A total of 21 different questions over the next week.
Record them somewhere, phone, write them (my bestest way), voice note, I don’t care. It has so much more impact if you pay attention to what you are doing.
Sorry maybe that was 3 minutes, more next week!
I would love to hear your experiences of this.
Have a lovely rest of your day
Jane
(I need to design a fancy signature, on the to do list, coming soon!)
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