Colouring outside the lines.
Have you noticed how many rules we have to try and live by?
Hello everyone,
I come to this article today covered in paint as we have an estate agent (real estate over the pond) in tomorrow for a valuation. All those things you turn a blind eye to, yep, no longer, everything has to be white, white, white. Including me at this particular moment.
I work in the corporate world 3 days a week. I can’t say I particularly enjoy the environment. Advantages are working alongside some awesome therapists and with some inspiring clients. We have had a change of manager and it is too early to know what that is going to be like. Our previous manager was amazing and more like me. Probably kept me there for the last 3 years.
If we are going strict rules, this could be somewhat problematic for me. Getting in some extra Gin! I always look at rules as guidelines. I talked about this in my note today, in relation to Substack:
And from the note above, I seriously mean I will help support any writer struggling with heartless criticism from others.
My total dislike of many unnecessary rules has really been at the forefront of my mind this week. My last manager was very human. I had not realised how much she had protected us, as a team, from this particular corporate engine. With that protection gone, I can see the deep and dark workings of the place I work. It is not a shock, I am not idiot, but it is now there, right in front of me, glaring at me with dark foreboding eyes.
We need rules as a society. It is how human beings operate. But many rules are simply to have control. Fear of people having freedom and doing things that won’t benefit the people making the rules. Rules around how to build a safe building (hmmmm even then it can really extreme, judging from our recent house renovation when we ended up in a row with planning about wanting our cladding horizontal, they said it MUST be vertical. I won though) are sensible, rules about how to exit a building in a fire, ok, I buy into that. These sort of things are sensible. I could argue about having common sense, but it does not seem to be so common these days. But is that because we are so rule laden we don’t have enough space to think for ourselves? Let’s not get into that, today but happy to debate it in the comments!
But a lot of rules are ridiculous, take the cladding mentioned above. It was even at the rear of our house where NO-ONE would see it! Many rules at work, are ridiculous. And when someone like me comes along and goes, hey, hang on a minute could we think about this differently, it is met with, well if you don’t follow that rule you will get a written warning. Or being told something like, well one person pushed that rule too far so now you are all locked down, as we now can't trust ANY of you now, lead to me becoming infuriated. They get away with it because we need our jobs to get paid and live.
So I am in the job market. I cannot tolerate what I see before me. I cannot see both myself and colleagues in what is literally slave labour for less than market pay, pay rises below inflation, very little leave and no room to breathe or think. Being back in the job market, moving 800 miles and having a new business (to enable me to leave the job market eventually) is a LOT at once, but heck, I can move through this period. Nothing is forever is it? Just one foot in front of the other at the moment.
When I have people working with me in my company, I will actually get a kick out of giving people room to grow, think, have an opinion, evolve, come up with ideas and take responsibility for how their role in the company works out. And….what I can learn from them.
I would love to hear your experiences of managing rules around you, whatever domain they be.
Thank you, as ever, for reading. I can’t quite believe you are here.
With all kind wishes
Jane
Accredited Cognitive Psychotherapist
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT), Mindfulness & Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
➡️If you would like to work with me on a 1:1 basis you can contact me at: mail@janewatkinscbt.co.uk
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As a film buff, whenever I see or hear a phrase rules and guidelines, I think of Captain Jack Sparrow! I think that a little Piracy in the corporate world is what is needed to shake things up and disrupt those who relish in sticking to the rule book even at the detriment of creativity and innovation and in the company growing and developing! These nervous fearful rule keepers need to understand that there is a vital roll to be played by the pirate gung-ho creative maverick, alongside the cautious rule setter! Well done for standing up and flying your pirate flag in the corporate world
Hello Jane, I enjoyed reading your article about rules and agree with you too. Particularly good to see Riley as I sank into the sofa next to my dog after a hard day.