Picking up a bit of courage to change, very publicly.
Why I have changed direction towards self-esteem, my first love.
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
Hello Substackers,
I think I have generally embraced change. But change has always been in the safety of privacy. This change is quite public. But I do feel the need to write about it a bit or my publication might make no sense. I also realise I may lose the interest of some subscribers/followers, but that is ok with me as not everyone may identify with this new direction.
A bit of my history, that has led me here. I have worked in mental health for the last 20 years. I started off as a mental health nurse and then did my specialist CBT training. I have worked across the lifespan both in CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health services, NHS) and adult services. NHS, private and Corporate. I definitely have some tales to tell from all of that!
Prior to that I worked in the corporate world, both in large English and American companies, as a project manager. I have also started and run my own businesses and am about to embark on a new creative business as well.
Photo by Melody Zimmerman on Unsplash (as a clue)
I feel like I have accumulated quite a wealth of experience. Over the last year I felt a need for a change from therapy. It is a very restricting and full-on life. It took me some time to identify moving from therapy to coaching as the right thing for me to do.Â
It has come, mainly, from my part-time job as a cognitive psychotherapist for a large corporate at the moment. There, I have found myself doing a lot of coaching, with professional and very successful women (men too!). Not by design, just happened that way.
When I decided on a change to coaching, it kind of felt natural to be a women’s coach.  As I started the process of research, building websites and all that kind of jazz, something didn’t feel quite right. Whilst my original idea of building a community to try and meet the needs, that I have noticed are missing for Professional Women, something was missing.
It then occurred to me that through all of my mental health career, self-esteem has always been a real passion and fascination of mine.  I have noticed, over the years, that so many difficulties and barriers to success, happiness and fulfilment come from early influences that have influenced the formation of self-esteem. This can then lead to difficulties with things in adult life. Whilst it is a ‘niche’ subject, it is also very big subject.
The idea of self-esteem dates back almost to the beginnings of men and women.Â
The actual term ‘self-esteem’ became a term in about the 19th Century (often thought to have come from William James, Philosopher and Psychologist (1842–1910)). Â
Aristotle back in about 380 BCE talked of self-love and self-respect. He wrote about how he believed humans needed a balanced amount of ‘self-regard’ to live a fulfilling life.  He also proposed the idea that a balanced amount of ‘self-love’ led to happiness and healthy relationships. At least that is my interpretation! Socrates and Plato subsequently had similar ideas. This topic is still very much alive.
I think many of us, chase that happy and fulfilling life and it can be so slippery and difficult to find, identify, create and/or maintain and keep.
Self-esteem is for all genders and ages. I am not sure why I became fixated on just women. It is the foundation of our experience as human beings. And so here I am, self-esteem for all 😊
This is the abridged version of my journey to Self-Esteem Coach. This community is open to everyone who would like to learn more about self-esteem, learn how to nurture it, improve it, develop resilience, believe (this word being the key, we can say how we feel we are good at xyz, but we don’t really believe it) in their strengths and drop the word failure and replace it with learning and growing. To be able to identify and build on strengths, develop new ones and grow a community based in fairness, support, growth and learning together.
I am really quite excited to see where this goes.  And if I write to a void for a while, I am going to sit with that discomfort and keep going. Just as I have helped all my very brave and courageous clients learn to do.
Thank you for reading.
Warm wishes
Jane
Floreo (Latin for flourish) When we have awareness, understanding of why we think the way we do and how that impacts what we do, we can create amazing change and flourish as a human being. Floreo, a community about all things self-esteem.
Subscribe now and join the movement towards self-esteem development, something we can all benefit from, for ourselves and those around and us.
Thank you, for creating this 'niche' safe space. I can relate on a few levels. I recently came out to the public as a Psychic Person in a very big way.
Prior to that, I kept that part of myself very private and on the down-low because people have their preconceived notions about what Psychic means- and the talk. Oh, the talk was terribly Taboo because (we don't talk about that, darling), especially in the Conservative Badlands of Western Canada. But, what I came to realize was that this is what drove the NEED for people to have that safe space on what is considered a very niche and Taboo subject. Because where else are they going to go with their questions? Where will they find someone who will support them in their experiences? Experiences that could instill fear in them because they don't understand them and they feel like they have to go through it alone.
It was that realization that forced me to put aside my own comfort so I could be there to support those that needed it. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it's not been without it's own positive side-effects for myself as well. I felt more free. I could live more authentically to who I was. This was a very welcome breath of fresh air, as I'm sure you could relate. So I guess you could say that the NEED was mutual.
I'm proud of you, Jane, for making the decision to create this space for people and to set your own comfort aside in order to do so. People will find your words (like I did) and it will significantly touch and even change their lives. I had a client the other day who was explaining to me that she had no place to go for her particular kind of trauma- so I think it's very reasonable to believe that these niche spaces are just as important as the more popular ones. It will make those people feel seen and heard. Thank-you for being the catalyst and vehicle to just such a support!
Blessings, sister